Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Majestic Pink Plastic

Due to the fact that I had run out of, or was about to run out of bar soap, dish soap, hand soap, face soap, toilet paper, food, and beverage (not to mention the absolute essentials of raw apple cider vinegar & yogurt for the dog) I was forced inland to shop.  It is only a few miles, but for whatever reason it seems like a trek.  The trip to Target I view more as a pilgrimage.

Once at Target I do always try to make a quick sweep through their Dollar Section as I frequently find it to be both highly entertaining as well as extraordinarily economical.

A few years ago I finally had decided to buckle down & obtain the flock of plastic pink flamingos that I had envisioned nesting in my backyard.  I went online.  Turned out that the factory that had been churning out these tacky pink beauties for 50 years had just closed, thus creating a "run" on the plastic pink flamingo.  They were going for a fortune on eBay.  Even the Chinese knockoffs were backordered into oblivion.  Crestfallen, yet still hopeful that a woman in need of a flock of plastic pink flamingos would be provided for- I found myself so sweetly rewarded.  One evening soon thereafter whilst making my trip to Mecca there in Target's Dollar Section I laid eyes on the Holy Grail: an entire shelf of individually wrapped plastic pink flamingos.  I loaded a shopping cart.  I bought every single one.  I don't think that I have ever bought anything that drew so much attention.  I did not explain myself to any of the curious shoppers.  I pretended to ignore the stares, and met all questions with only a very disinterested faint & distant smile.  My reaction seemed to only add to their intrigue which I figured would make for a better story for them once they got home to the rest of their families.  For all I know that cartload of plastic pink flamingos accompanied by their tight lipped companion could've been the best thing that had happened to my fellow shoppers that Monday night.

Anyway, that was then, this in now.  During my most recent scan of Target's Dollar Section I came across a tiara.  When I saw the tiara I flashed to my real life Fairy Godmother (who owns the coffee shop with her husband) telling me that her tiara which she keeps in the kitchen to wear while cooking had become awfully dinged & damaged.  So, for the investment of one single dollar plus tax I bought her a new tiara to preside over her culinary magic, etc.

When I took the tiara to the coffee shop today to drop it off I found her out front on a bench.  Upon receiving her new tiara she did what I now realize any fairy godmother would do- she immediately placed it upon her head.  As we sat engrossed in our conversation she was continuously & royally addressed by many passerby.

"Ta ta, Your Majesty."

"Who crowned you, Oprah?"


"What are you..." (our friend from Czech then intervenes to answer their trailing question,) "Homecoming Queen."

"Is it your birthday?  Should we all sing All Hail the Queen?"

All the while my Fairy Godmother kindly explains to each of them that her tiara had merely become so banged up that I had bought her a new one to replace it.  That's all.  Uh huh.  That's right.

Just another day in Shangri-La.  


1 comment:

  1. Funny...funny...about the pink flamingoes.

    Great story!

    I'm sure people did go home & talk about you & 'them'.

    Kouzin Kate on Congress