Monday, September 21, 2009

Le Pew/A Rose by Any Other Name

I wondered today if as long as there have been skunks if there've also been dogs & tomato juice.  It seems such an age old combination.

Pictured above is my darling skunk chaser in the midst of her tomato juice soak.  Note the pink tint to her ordinarily white chest.  (Yes, she does have ears- she must've taken them off for the bath.)

I let her out to go shi-shi before bed.  A few seconds later I heard her running across the backyard barking.  A few seconds after that I heard her sneezing.  I knew what that had to mean, and the skunky scent started not wafting, but storming into the house. Peeeeeee Yooooo!!!

An old neighbor of mine once sent a de-skunking recipe that she found online when one of her cats got skunked.  I liked that cat, but knew him well enough to know that he deserved it.  She said the mixture worked really well.  I saved it knowing that it would only be a matter of time before I'd need it.  I mixed it up the last two times The Bean went skunk chasing, and it does work.  I'll include it at the bottom.  If you know anyone who might ever chase a skunk- save the recipe.

Well, as I sat in a chair in my living room engulfed in skunk fumes listening to my dog roll around in the grass snorting I realized a few things.
1.  I didn't really have enough of the ingredients on hand to make a batch of de-skunk. 
2.  Due to some medication she's been taking her skin seemed to me to be a little too sensitive for the mixture.
3.  I didn't see myself getting dressed, driving over the hill to the 24 hour Ralph's, buying tomato juice, coming home, and giving the skunk chaser a bath in the dark with the hose when I had been right about to go to bed.  I didn't see myself doing this mostly due to the last time she got sprayed.  Oh, there we were out in the middle of the night in the dark scrub a dub dub, and for the only time in all the years that we've been together she was giving me the stink eye.  And boy was she givin' it!  Like it was my fault!
4.  It was an awfully pleasant evening.  Maybe, a night sleeping outside away from her most beloved couch would learn her.  She loves that couch.  When she's not too busy hanging out with painters, or chasing skunks- she's on that couch.

For reasons that I cannot explain for all the skunk chasing & skunk spraying that goes on she has never really quite gotten got.  Last time was only a little.  The time before that I saw the whole thing happen (in slow motion, of course, with me yelling, "Noooooooooooo!")  She had her face so close to the back of that skunk her head was probably helping to hold up his tail.  I slowly closed the door, went & changed my clothes, found the recipe, mixed it up, and then went out to my patient.  I felt her fur in order to tell where the epicenter was, but she wasn't wet anywhere.  I then tried to determine where she'd taken the hit via my nose.  Well, the whole freaking backyard was thick with skunk fog.  So, I took her out in front of the house.  I patted her down again.  I sniffed sniffed sniffed.  I looked at her as if to say, "Could it be?"  She looked back at me as if to say, "I think it could!"  Miraculously & inexplicably she didn't get skunked.  She started wagging her tail.  I started gleefully dancing around repeatedly telling her that it was a miracle.  She wagged, wiggled, and danced along.  What a sight we must've been at 3am.

I wondered could we possibly get so lucky again this time.  I heard a very light scratch at the back door.  (That's Bean for open up.)  I went to go assess the damage.  When I opened the door she looked at me sheepishly from the bottom of the back steps.  The aroma in the backyard was so heavy that I was surprised you couldn't see the smell.  I bent over the dog to have a sniff.  She wagged her tail lowly, slowly, & guiltily.  When I got close to the top of her head I quickly retreated.  I told her, "Sorry, Charlie," and I went back in the house.  She didn't protest, didn't ask to come in, didn't even try to make me feel bad.  She knew.

Now, she's so fluffily contentedly snoozing on her precious couch.  Every time I get near her though I get a craving for a grilled cheese sandwich, because she smells like tomato soup.  I wonder if as long as there has been tomato soup if there's been grilled cheese sandwiches- seems such an age old combination...

De-Skunk Recipe
1 quart 3% hydrogen peroxide
1/4 Cup baking soda
2 teaspoons dish soap
mix it all together in a bowl, it will get all fizzy
soak the animal with it, rub it in, let it soak in for up to 5 minutes.
(C adds, "Good luck with a cat!")
...then rinse.
Neither one of us found that the recipe required much precision.

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