Majestic Pink Plastic

Due to the fact that I had run out of, or was about to run out of bar soap, dish soap, hand soap, face soap, toilet paper, food, and beverage (not to mention the absolute essentials of raw apple cider vinegar & yogurt for the dog) I was forced inland to shop.  It is only a few miles, but for whatever reason it seems like a trek.  The trip to Target I view more as a pilgrimage.

Once at Target I do always try to make a quick sweep through their Dollar Section as I frequently find it to be both highly entertaining as well as extraordinarily economical.

A few years ago I finally had decided to buckle down & obtain the flock of plastic pink flamingos that I had envisioned nesting in my backyard.  I went online.  Turned out that the factory that had been churning out these tacky pink beauties for 50 years had just closed, thus creating a "run" on the plastic pink flamingo.  They were going for a fortune on eBay.  Even the Chinese knockoffs were backordered into oblivion.  Crestfallen, yet still hopeful that a woman in need of a flock of plastic pink flamingos would be provided for- I found myself so sweetly rewarded.  One evening soon thereafter whilst making my trip to Mecca there in Target's Dollar Section I laid eyes on the Holy Grail: an entire shelf of individually wrapped plastic pink flamingos.  I loaded a shopping cart.  I bought every single one.  I don't think that I have ever bought anything that drew so much attention.  I did not explain myself to any of the curious shoppers.  I pretended to ignore the stares, and met all questions with only a very disinterested faint & distant smile.  My reaction seemed to only add to their intrigue which I figured would make for a better story for them once they got home to the rest of their families.  For all I know that cartload of plastic pink flamingos accompanied by their tight lipped companion could've been the best thing that had happened to my fellow shoppers that Monday night.

Anyway, that was then, this in now.  During my most recent scan of Target's Dollar Section I came across a tiara.  When I saw the tiara I flashed to my real life Fairy Godmother (who owns the coffee shop with her husband) telling me that her tiara which she keeps in the kitchen to wear while cooking had become awfully dinged & damaged.  So, for the investment of one single dollar plus tax I bought her a new tiara to preside over her culinary magic, etc.

When I took the tiara to the coffee shop today to drop it off I found her out front on a bench.  Upon receiving her new tiara she did what I now realize any fairy godmother would do- she immediately placed it upon her head.  As we sat engrossed in our conversation she was continuously & royally addressed by many passerby.

"Ta ta, Your Majesty."

"Who crowned you, Oprah?"

"Congratulations!"

"What are you..." (our friend from Czech then intervenes to answer their trailing question,) "Homecoming Queen."

"Is it your birthday?  Should we all sing All Hail the Queen?"

All the while my Fairy Godmother kindly explains to each of them that her tiara had merely become so banged up that I had bought her a new one to replace it.  That's all.  Uh huh.  That's right.

Just another day in Shangri-La.  

   

    

Entitlement

I've been trying to think of a title for my book.  My mind keeps coming up with things of this nature: 

Blah Blah Blah:

Blahditty Blahditty Blah blah Blahditty blah Blah Blah blah Blaaaaaah

Not so catchy.  Bit too wordy.  In fact, the size of the book would have to be enlarged just to fit such a verbose title.

The title needs to convey what the book is about & I think also how it came to be- without being too limiting to the audience, too wordy, too contrived, or too boring.

I asked myself a few minutes ago what were some of the greatest book titles I had ever heard.  Perhaps, there would be a helpful guiding thread that ran through them.  I thought,  "I read a lot.  This is probably a great approach."  Two titles shot immediately to mind:  The Unbearable Lightness of Being & Hop on Pop.  No other titles came to mind- just those.  Well... fair enough.

Google.  Surely, Google will help me.  So, I type in, "What are the best selling books of all time?"  I did find that to be pretty fascinating.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_books

And in that list I found, for me at least, the payoff to my inquiry:  Captain Underpants has outsold The South Beach Diet.  

Abracadabra!

Today at the coffee shop I was talking with one of the fabulistas who works behind the counter.  I hadn't seen her in awhile, because with her college degree she went off & got some type of grown up job:  park ranger, designing turbine engines, interpreter for the I.N.S.  Something like that.  So anyway, she had asked what I'd been up to, and I gave her a little update.  Then I asked about her.  

She said, "I got a job as a magician's assistant.  I disappear!"


I love my life.  I had that conversation even before I had breakfast.

Clown Shoes & Cowboy Boots for Everyday Wear

I love when I am at the grocery store during a month nowhere near October, and I see a 4 year old wearing a spider man costume & cowboy boots.

Today at the coffee shop I saw a high school kid in a baggy, albeit very shiny costume.  He looked a rather loose interpretation of an admiral from Napoleon's Navy.  Neither the looseness, nor the extraordinarily shoddy three cornered-ish hat diminished my enjoyment.

A couple of months ago I saw a man riding a bicycle past the shop in pig costume.

A few months before that I was sitting like a bump on a log with my friend who is from the Czech Republic when two little girls came around the corner wearing princess costumes.  With no emotion in my voice whatsoever I said that I thought I'd start dressing like that.  Very matter of factly my friend responded, "You pretty much already do," which made me burst out laughing.

However, I think my out of context costume sighting that takes the cake happened a few years ago.  I was inside a restaurant staring out the window when I just so happened to see a white Volkswagen Jetta drive past containing five adult clowns in full clown regalia (rainbow wigs, round red noses, make-up, etc.)  My eyes bulged out, and I yelled, "Did you see that??!!!"  People looked at me like, "see what?"  One person out on the sidewalk heard me through the open window, turned around, and excitedly yelled, "I saw it!! I saw it!!"

How Could This Be Topped?

I believe that there is a very good chance that I have heard the two best pet names of all time.  A friend of a friend of mine has cats by the names of Bunnychicken and Sea Bass. 

Outstanding.

Oh, and it isn't even a six year old girl that has these cats- it's a fella. 

Sneaky Peaky?

I just finished doing the drawing which is to be the holiday ad for my favorite coffee house's sister shop.  I don't know if I'd be committing some type of retail advertising faux pas by giving you a look so far in advance.  Hmmm... well... how 'bout one of the other sister instead?

2! 4! 6! 8!

I left Jeff the Painter a note today telling him that I wrote about him & how to find the blog.  I left him a note instead of telling him in person, because though there was an open can of paint with a wet paintbrush in the front yard I didn't see him anywhere & could not hear him either (bless that guy's freaking heart!)

I was inspired to make sure that he knew how much he was appreciated by something that had happened to me.  I was over at the coffee shop writing my daily message on the sandwich board out front when an unassuming gentleman approached.  He stopped very briefly, and told me that he reads what I write on that board every day.  He said that he really enjoys it.  Then he added as he was walking away, "I bet you change a lot of people's lives."

....wow.

How's that for something to say to a stranger?

So often I think that we not only quietly admire others from afar, but we quietly admire them from up close too.  Let's let them in on the secret.  Tell your favorite bagger at the grocery store that you always pick the line that they are in, because they never stack all the heavy stuff on the spinach, and they never put the eggs in sideways, and they never put the Draino in with the eggplant.  If you haven't had to take the trash out for 40 years, because someone else always takes it out for you, maybe, you assume that they know you're appreciative.  Why make 'em guess?

Thank you everybody for everything that you do that makes life easier, more pleasant, more peaceful, more joyous, and with less crushed spinach.

(don't worry this isn't homework....   it's extra credit)